Serious Bonus Points

Before I tell this story let me just preface it by saying that I am not in any way, shape, or form making fun of any of the people involved in this situation.

Now, let me set the scene: I very optimistically agreed to go to a stake single adult dance. I will admit that mostly it was curiosity to see what it was like. I thought I had convinced another woman in the ward to go with me but she bailed at the last minute. So I get to the church 45 minutes late (horror of horrors to actually show up on time to one of these things) and see 7 cars in the parking lot. 3 of them are minivans. My already low expectations drop dramatically. I figure I've come this far so I walk into the church and hear...nothing. No music, no talking, nothing. At this point I'm pretty sure I must have either the time or the place wrong, but again, I've come this far so I continue on. As I walk toward the gym I finally hear someone talking and I get to the door and hesitate just beyond the point when anyone can see me because this is it, once I take one more step I am committed to whatever this is for at least an hour. I stand there indecisively for at least a minute, during which time I ascertain that someone is teaching people how to do the Electric Slide (It's electric!). For some reason this makes me want to see what's actually happening, so I take that final step. And then I am looking at the most depressing vignette I have seen in quite some time. The gym is amply decorated in some sort of awful autumnal/Valentine's Day combination and there are 7 people in the middle of the gym. It turns out the DJ is the one teaching them the Electric Slide (It's electric!).* The DJ's wife is my visiting teacher (and I love and adore her, she is seriously one of my favorite people in Indiana), which is the only reason I had persevered in showing up once my other friend had bailed on me. Anyway, there are 4 women and 3 men there. The men are both in their 60's and the women range from 30 to 70. By the time all of this registers all I want to do is turn and flee, but of course I have been spotted and beckoned and there is no way for me to pretend that I have just accidentally stumbled into the wrong place and actually have a pressing appointment elsewhere.

So naturally I decide to show them all how the Electric Slide (it's electric!) is done.

Ha, no just kidding, I halfheartedly join in the dance all the while calculating exactly how long politeness dictates that I stay.

So depressing.

At least they didn't try to make me do the Boot Scootin' Boogie.

I deserve serious bonus points for going, for staying, for dancing, and for not crying my eyes out afterwards at what my sorry single life has become.**

These bonus points will come in the form of never again having to attend a singles activity.

*I understand that some people won't get this reference, just trust me, it's a terrifying reminder of my junior high days.

**Note, this does not have reference to my being a poor pitiful single person who is sorry for herself, because that is far from the case. It is the representation of what being single apparently means in the Church in Indiana.