After a weekend spent worrying that I was going to fail and should maybe just reject Purdue before they reject me (weekends are not my best time), I had two rather awesome affirmations that I was doing ok today. Now, I will be the first to admit that both of these might come from a perception of me rather than the actual me, but I will take them anyway:
1. I went to see a professor to discuss several things and after talking over some issues and questions she told me that it was clear that I knew what I was doing. Uh…ok, I’m glad it’s “clear” to someone (I did not of course say that, though my look of blank astonishment might have given me away).
2. In class another professor was discussing some sociological experiment and turns to me and says, “Well of course you’ve heard of it, Marin.” Now, as I see it you have several options at this point:
a. Lie and pretend that of course you’ve heard of it because that’s what he expects
b. Tell him no, you have no earthly idea what he’s talking about and he could possibly be smoking something
c. Flee in panic
I’ll tell you what I did. The experiment sounded vaguely familiar to me so I might have fibbed a tiny bit by nodding more knowingly than was warranted given my actual knowledge of what he was talking about. But the real point is, why would I “of course” have heard about it? I think I hide confusion (and ignorance) well and so it often appears that I know more than I do. Or maybe he was just referring to my obvious intelligence (heh). Or maybe I should stop parsing it and take it for the compliment I think it was meant to be.
Lest you be overly impressed by his good opinion of me, earlier in the class he called me Meredith. That wasn’t the best moment of the day.
Still, you take what you can get.
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